TWO FIFTY PRODUCTIONS presents
COW CHIP & LANCE
“Trick or Treat”
Written and Drawn by Dennis Simmons
Copyright (c) 1996 by Dennis Simmons
“Here’s this week’s school paper,” Mr. Miller said. He passed the papers around to his students. “There’s the bell. You can go now. Don’t forget the test on Friday.”
“Why do they only interview the popular kids in the school paper?” Cow Chip asked. “That really sucks.”
“‘What did you do last weekend?'” Cow Chip read. “Couldn’t they come up with a more original question to ask?”
Lance started laughing. “Matt Jackson: ‘Got busy.'”
Cow Chip chuckled. “Come on. They wouldn’t print something like that…” His eyes looked down at the paper. “Hmm. I guess they would.”
“Hey, look at this,” Lance said. “‘Halloween is coming, and the Gief High ASB is holding its annual Best Costume contest. Come to school on the 31st dressed in a costume, and you will be eligible to win a $25 cash prize.'”
“Cool!” Cow Chip said. “I’ll have to come up with a good costume idea.”
“Me too,” Lance said.
“Cow Chip? What are you doing?” Lance said. “Why do you have my guitar?”
“This is my costume. I’m a rock star!”
“How original,” Lance said. “Play something for me.”
Cow Chip began strumming some chords. “You’re playing the same four chords over and over again,” Lance replied. “Oh, I get it! You’re the guy from Blues Traveler!”
“I thought of a better costume than yours,” Lance said.
“A clown?” Cow Chip said. “You hardly even had to dress up! It’s as if the whole reason you’re a clown is just so the guy who draws this cartoon can be lazy today!”
“Well, it isn’t any less original than the rock star.”
“I’ll bet you twenty bucks that I’ll finish higher in the costume contest than you will.”
“A bet?” Lance said. “You’re on!”
“I heard you and Lance made a bet over your Halloween costumes,” Wilson said.
“Yeah. I need to think of a good costume idea,” Cow Chip replied.
“Have you been to that new Halloween store?”
“No. I haven’t been there yet. Do they have good stuff?”
“Yeah! In fact, I was just headed over there now. I can’t decide which Friends character I’m going to dress as. What do you think? Should I go as Ross or Chandler?”
“Why don’t you go as Rachel?” Cow Chip suggested.
Wilson thought about this. “Hey! That’s a great idea! Everyone would laugh!”
“Wilson! I was only kidding!”
“Hey, look. Biff from the Mortal Death game,” Cow Chip said from behind the mask.
“I don’t know. I think you’ll need a more clever idea to win Best Costume.”
“You’re probably right.”
“Hey! Why don’t you and Lance enter the contest together? You could do something really cool then! Like one of those two-person horse costumes!”
“A two-person horse? Cool? I don’t think so.”
“Well,” said Cow Chip, “being in here gave me a few ideas. I’ll come back tomorrow maybe.”
“I think I know what I’m going to be,” Wilson said.
They started to walk out of the store when something caught their attention. “Do you boys need any help?” the girl behind the counter asked.
“Umm… we’re okay,” Cow Chip replied. “I’ll be back another time.”
“Okay. I’ll see you then.” The girl smiled.
“She wants me,” Wilson said once they were outside.
“No way! She wants me!” Cow Chip replied.
“Maybe she wants both of us.”
“Ewww. You’re disgusting, Wilson.”
“I didn’t mean that!”
The next day at lunch, Cow Chip and Lance began talking about their costumes again.
“Wilson suggested that we go as a two-person horse,” Cow Chip said.
Lance laughed. “That’s Wilson for you. What’s he going as?”
“He was going to go as one of the guys from Friends, but he couldn’t decide which. I told him he should go as Rachel.”
Lance laughed again at this. “Why does anyone need to go as Rachel? Plenty of people try to look like her even when it’s not Halloween.” Both of them laughed at this.
After school that day, Lance went to the Halloween costume shop where Cow Chip had been the day before. He saw Wilson there. “Hey, Lance! That’s funny. Yesterday I was in here with Cow Chip, and today I’m in here with you.”
“I need a good idea for a costume. Something that will beat Cow Chip in the contest.”
“How about that?”
“Batman? How original, Wilson. What are you going as? Cow Chip said you were going to be one of the guys from Friends.”
“I was, but I’ve decided against that. I’ve got to think of something better.”
“Why don’t you go as Batman?”
“Hmm… I just might. Thanks for the idea!”
“Now if only I could get an idea,” Lance said.
“Can I help you with anything?” asked the girl who worked in the store.
“I don’t think so. Not right now.”
“Okay. Well, just let me know if you need anything.”
The girl walked away. Lance turned to Wilson. “She wants me.”
“You and Cow Chip think exactly the same,” Wilson told Lance. “Besides, you’re both wrong. She wants me.”
Cow Chip and Lance sat in front of the television. The contest was just three days away, and their best ideas for costumes were still not very good.
Suddenly the phone rang. Cow Chip answered.
“Hi, Cow Chip. It’s Wilson,” the voice on the other end said.
“Hey, Wilson. What’s up?”
“I got a great idea for a costume for you. Just promise not to tell Lance.”
“I promise.”
Wilson told Cow Chip his great idea. “Thanks!” Cow Chip answered. He immediately left, telling Lance he was going to the Halloween store.
A few minutes later, the telephone rang again. Lance answered this time. “Hello?” Lance said.
“Lance? It’s Wilson.
“I think I have an idea for a costume for you. Just promise not to tell Cow Chip.”
“I won’t.”
Wilson told Lance his idea. “Thanks!” Lance said. He left for the Halloween store.
“Hey! Get out of here!” Lance said. “You’re not supposed to see what my costume is until the contest!”
“You want me to get out of here? I was here first!” Cow Chip replied.
“Hmm…” Lance thought. “Okay. I’ll leave, for now. I have something better to do.”
“Hey,” Lance said.
“Hi there,” the girl replied. “Did you think of an idea for your costume yet?”
“I did, actually. But I’m waiting until my friend leaves. I don’t want him to know what it is yet.”
“I see. You want to surprise him.”
“Yes. So hey, are you doing anything tonight? Want to go see a movie or something?” Lance asked.
The girl laughed. “I don’t think my husband would like that very well.”
“Umm… husband?” Lance said. “Oh, I’m sorry,” he said after noticing her wedding ring.
“That’s okay,” she said. She smiled.
Lance walked back over to Cow Chip. “Why don’t you go ask that girl out? She just told me she wants you.”
“This better not be a trick,” Cow Chip replied.
The morning before the contest, Wilson came over to Cow Chip and Lance’s house. He wanted to see their costumes. Cow Chip was putting on his costume in one room, and Lance was putting on his in another room.
“Ready, Cow Chip?” Wilson asked.
“Ready.”
“Lance?”
“Me too.”
“Okay. You can come out now.” Cow Chip and Lance emerged from their respective rooms. When they saw each other, they stared at each other, speechless, for several minutes. Lance was the first to speak. “Hey! No fair!”
“Now what are we going to do?” Cow Chip said. “We have different costumes, but the same idea. We’ll never win the contest now!”
“Hey,” Wilson said, just as he had planned to do. “You can enter the contest together!”
“That’s a great idea!” Cow Chip said. “But what about the bet?”
“I’ll call it off if you will,” Lance said.
“Okay.”
“And the winner of Gief High’s Best Halloween Costume contest,” Principal McCabe said, “is Cow Chip McDavid and Lance Hernandez as… umm… Lance Hernandez and Cow Chip McDavid!” Mr. McCabe handed them an envelope containing the prize money. “Congratulations, boys.”
“Good job!” Wilson said, approaching them in his Batman costume. “How are you going to split the money?”
“$12.50 apiece,” Lance said.
“I think you should give some to the guy who planned this.”
“You planned this?” Cow Chip and Lance both said.
“Well… umm… yeah. I’m sorry, but I didn’t want to see you guys being so competitive. You make a great team.”
“Hmm. I think you’re right. How much do you want?” Cow Chip asked.
“How about $1 for Cow Chip, $1 for Lance, and $23 for me?”
“Yeah, right. Does $10, $10, and $5 seem fair to everyone?”
“Sure,” Lance said. “How should we spend the money?”
“Let’s play video games,” Cow Chip offered.
“Mortal Death! I bet you $10 I can beat you!”
“You’re on!”
“Here we go again,” Wilson said.
Previous episode: 4. “The Commercial“
Next episode: 6. “Happy Birthday“
Cow Chip & Lance 